Replaced but Irreplaceable #Community

February 15, 2019

This is the year. I’ve realized that many of the people I once held dear have moved on. These are individuals that I have known for significant portions of my life and/or formative periods of my life. They’ve found the friend group, spouse, partner, church community, social group, or whichever circle(s) of belonging that they have been searching for and dreaming about for years. They’ve finally found it… without me. A few are still searching but, thankfully, I have made it relatively easy (for myself) to avoid getting caught up in “filler friend” cycles. The result is the same: I am not a part of the picture.


It’s tempting to just settle on the thought of being replaced, however, I know that there has never been and will never be someone like me in the lives of the individuals and groups of individuals that I have invested in. This is a reality that I have to acknowledge in my own life as well. Each of the relationships I’ve had have been unique and based on the individual. Each relationship has had its place and time. But times up, I guess.


I think this is good. I think it is the right timing because, you see, I have changed. I can’t really say that anyone else has changed (Most have stayed the same apart from career and relationship transitions). But, I definitely have changed… and it’s comforting to know that I can move on although in some ways it feels as if I am being forced to move on. At the end of the day, moving on is exactly what I have been doing over the past few years. I knew this time would come.


I have a new canvas to paint with new adventures, but not necessarily a slate that has been wiped clean. If I am honest, no one will be, has been, or is currently being replaced in my life. This is not and has never been my motivation behind seeking out new relationships and people to connect with. Each relationship is standalone. People are irreplaceable to me although I know that not everyone shares this viewpoint. Either way, it’s a win-win. I am content to celebrate from a distance and am hopeful that all will find what they are looking for in the end.



Questions to ponder:


1. What do you think about the term “filler friend”?



2. Do you view people as being replaceable? Why or why not?






This blog series is focused on Community.


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